Yankee Tag Blog

Some people set goals every New Year’s Day.  I usually take stock of where I am and where I want to be each year on June 1st.  On my birthday.  Here’s how I fared this year.

• Make $100,000 (Fail - Maybe next year)
• Make $1,000,000 (Fail - Not even close)
• Buy a home (Check - Just a condo, but beats renting I suppose)
• Work from home (Check - although I spend a lot of time traveling to work in Sacramento)
• Move back to Oregon (Check - Part of this year I’ll be living in Sacramento again)
• Take over the world  (Fail - Even Hitler failed)
• Secede from the Union (Fail - Getting closer, just wait for the collapse of the dollar)
• Start a business (Check - an LLC)
• Buy a gun (Check - and check, and check)
• Get a Concealed Handgun Permit (Check - but I rarely use it)
• Try crack (Fail - Maybe next year)
• Quit WoW (Fail - Maybe next year)

My very favorite artist, Richard St. Ofle is always up for a good prank. On somebody else. And this year he promised to actually fool me (which is notoriously hard to do) on April Fools. And he didn’t. So I decided to April Fools him back, albeit seven days late. I called him through the Hard of Hearing Relay Chat Operator. I told him I wanted to interview him for my blog site. Below is the transcript:

Disclaimer: Because Richard is a good friend of mine, I would like to preface this with a brief note. Richard is an extremely talented artist, whose work you can find at saintofle.com and conco-disco.com. He is the first artist to inspire me to be interested in art. I’ve always thought of art as something nice, which I didn’t really need, and which didn’t add any value to life other than, “oh, look at that, that’s nice.” Now, with two pieces in my collection, I view art quite differently, and consider myself an amateur art collector, who’s well on his way to owning an impressive collection. And Richard, at the very least, this is good for SEO.

yankeetag (7:10:51 PM): call

My IP Relay (7:10:51 PM): Please hold for the next available operator.

My IP Relay (7:10:51 PM): PLS ENTER THE NBR U WANT TO DIAL GA

yankeetag (7:10:54 PM): XXX-XXX-XXXX

My IP Relay (7:11:18 PM): IP RELAY RO 80063M

My IP Relay (7:11:18 PM): PLS HD DIALING

My IP Relay (7:11:22 PM): XXX XXX XXXX

My IP Relay (7:11:28 PM): RING 1

My IP Relay (7:11:30 PM): 2…

My IP Relay (7:11:32 PM): 3…

My IP Relay (7:11:36 PM): 4…

My IP Relay (7:11:38 PM): 5…

My IP Relay (7:11:44 PM): (F)

My IP Relay (7:11:58 PM): xxx

My IP Relay (7:12:02 PM): (M)

My IP Relay (7:12:04 PM): (EXPLAINING RELAY)

My IP Relay (7:12:41 PM): hello i’m sorry qq yeah GA

My IP Relay (7:13:41 PM): …

My IP Relay (7:13:45 PM): (side conversation speaking in other language)

yankeetag (7:13:54 PM): is this Richard?

yankeetag (7:14:20 PM): Richard St. Ofle?

My IP Relay (7:14:31 PM): aah who is this qq GA

yankeetag (7:14:40 PM): this is nick

My IP Relay (7:14:43 PM): who is this qq GA

yankeetag (7:14:55 PM): I’m from seattle, a friend showed me your art and i wanted to call

yankeetag (7:15:23 PM): I’m curious, do you have a website?

My IP Relay (7:15:52 PM): (side conversation) i yes

yankeetag (7:15:57 PM): I have an art blog, and I would like to feature you. May I interview you?

My IP Relay (7:16:06 PM): this is richard st.

My IP Relay (7:16:16 PM): ofle hello nick thank you for

My IP Relay (7:16:26 PM): calling and yes i do

My IP Relay (7:16:36 PM): have a website it saintofle.com

My IP Relay (7:16:50 PM): but the saint is spelled out it’s s

yankeetag (7:17:08 PM): i’m sure you are probably busy, do you have time for a quick interview? I could call back if not

My IP Relay (7:17:10 PM): a

My IP Relay (7:17:12 PM): i

My IP Relay (7:17:14 PM): n

My IP Relay (7:17:19 PM): t

My IP Relay (7:17:27 PM): yes that would be great! GA

yankeetag (7:17:41 PM): thank you

yankeetag (7:17:48 PM): what inspired you to be an artist?

My IP Relay (7:17:50 PM): no, right now is fine GA

My IP Relay (7:18:18 PM): aah well there are 2 different

My IP Relay (7:18:25 PM): answers that

My IP Relay (7:18:29 PM): i

My IP Relay (7:18:39 PM): could give the first is literal

My IP Relay (7:18:49 PM): and the second

My IP Relay (7:19:15 PM): is more figurative the first answer would

My IP Relay (7:19:23 PM): be is that i had an art teacher when

My IP Relay (7:19:31 PM): i was a kid that i didn’t get

My IP Relay (7:19:39 PM): along with and to spite her (laugh

My IP Relay (7:19:49 PM): ) i thought i’d be an artist a better artist

My IP Relay (7:19:58 PM): than her the figurative answer

My IP Relay (7:20:06 PM): is that

My IP Relay (7:20:22 PM): i

My IP Relay (7:20:28 PM): was always an artist and that i

My IP Relay (7:20:32 PM): was born to be one GA

yankeetag (7:20:48 PM): haha, well it looks like you turned out to be better than your teacher!

yankeetag (7:21:14 PM): Many of my readers

yankeetag (7:21:20 PM): are hard of hearing, like me.

My IP Relay (7:21:24 PM): (laughing) i dont know man my teacher

My IP Relay (7:21:28 PM): was really good haha! GA

yankeetag (7:21:38 PM): how do you think the world of sound influences current art trends?

My IP Relay (7:22:11 PM): well, i think that perhaps not sound literally

My IP Relay (7:22:23 PM): but i think all artists are influenced by

My IP Relay (7:22:32 PM): pop culture so thought

My IP Relay (7:23:04 PM): not music specifically yeah perhaps

My IP Relay (7:23:16 PM): the music movements or musical

My IP Relay (7:23:42 PM): ideas influenced me heavilyi’m

My IP Relay (7:23:48 PM): not talking about specific sounds

My IP Relay (7:24:02 PM): but the ideas behind those sounds sound

My IP Relay (7:24:10 PM): for example, is the way you can

My IP Relay (7:24:21 PM): understand punk rock but may be

My IP Relay (7:24:35 PM): you can understand it by looking at a

My IP Relay (7:24:49 PM): (confirming spelling)

My IP Relay (7:25:15 PM): it’s a j e a n - m i c h a e l

My IP Relay (7:25:21 PM): and then the last name is b a s

My IP Relay (7:25:23 PM): q

My IP Relay (7:25:37 PM): u i a t so it’s the same whether

My IP Relay (7:25:48 PM): the medium is sound via music

My IP Relay (7:25:58 PM): or film or art its the ideas that interests me GA

yankeetag (7:26:13 PM): Do you have specific art influences?

My IP Relay (7:26:41 PM): specific art influences uhm

My IP Relay (7:26:47 PM): i do yes but the art influences

My IP Relay (7:26:59 PM): that i have are also more idea

My IP Relay (7:27:12 PM): oriented for example, i

My IP Relay (7:27:28 PM): like it when people emotionally

My IP Relay (7:27:36 PM): loose it when people freak out

My IP Relay (7:27:46 PM): out of love or out of hate or whatever emotion

My IP Relay (7:27:56 PM): i think i really try

My IP Relay (7:28:09 PM): to i’m

My IP Relay (7:28:20 PM): sorry i think i’m really influenced

My IP Relay (7:28:31 PM): by that breaking

My IP Relay (7:28:41 PM): point type of emotionif you’d

My IP Relay (7:28:53 PM): like specific artists names i

My IP Relay (7:28:59 PM): love marcell dushont, manray,

My IP Relay (7:29:19 PM): john kale, deluc class, david

My IP Relay (7:29:28 PM): it’s

My IP Relay (7:29:41 PM): spelled like s a l e something on

My IP Relay (7:29:50 PM): sale s a l

My IP Relay (7:29:54 PM): e and aah (confirming spelling)

My IP Relay (7:30:14 PM): you know it’s aah darn it its not

My IP Relay (7:30:22 PM): philip close it’s chuck close

My IP Relay (7:30:28 PM): like c

My IP Relay (7:30:36 PM): l o s e GA

yankeetag (7:30:48 PM): thank you. one last question:

yankeetag (7:30:55 PM): many of my readers are trying to understand the “world of sound” through other senses, especially through visual art. If you don’t mind my interpretation: your art seems visually “noisy”. Is that the sense you try to create, or is it a misinterpretation?

My IP Relay (7:31:50 PM): i’d say yes that that is a very

My IP Relay (7:31:54 PM): flattering interpretation uhm

My IP Relay (7:32:06 PM): going back to my influences i

My IP Relay (7:32:21 PM): think that sonically someone loosing

My IP Relay (7:32:31 PM): control would sound very noisy

My IP Relay (7:32:37 PM): so obviously

My IP Relay (7:32:43 PM): visually

My IP Relay (7:33:01 PM): loosing control

My IP Relay (7:33:07 PM): would be noisy too GA

yankeetag (7:33:19 PM): Mr. St. Ofle, I really appreciate your time

yankeetag (7:33:35 PM): With your permission, I’ll be sharing this interview on my blog.

yankeetag (7:33:57 PM): If you don’t mind, I will contact you through your website and send you information about the article, including a link to read it yourself.

My IP Relay (7:34:10 PM): uhm that would make

My IP Relay (7:34:38 PM): me very happy, aah that would be great

My IP Relay (7:34:48 PM): it would make me very happy my

My IP Relay (7:34:54 PM): email address in case it’s not

My IP Relay (7:35:01 PM): on

My IP Relay (7:35:17 PM): there

My IP Relay (7:35:31 PM): is richard@saintofle.com aah what is

My IP Relay (7:35:35 PM): url to your blog qq GA

yankeetag (7:35:56 PM): it’s soundlessart.com

yankeetag (7:36:16 PM): thank you again, have a good evening.

My IP Relay (7:36:47 PM): thank you again

My IP Relay (7:36:53 PM): and i look forward to reading your blog GA

I need to preface this post with a couple of quick notes. First, I swear on my atheism, it’s entirely true. Secondly, I’m not the kind of person who would ever believe it, if I hadn’t seen it myself. That said, two nights ago the creepiest thing ever happened:

My girlfriend and I went to bed around midnight. I was pretty tired and I fell asleep quickly. In the middle of the night (right around 3 am) I was startled awake. I sat up a little and looked around and I saw my girlfriend walk out our bedroom door and head downstairs. At this point, I wasn’t scared or anything, but I was surprised since I’ve never seen her get up in the middle of the night (she’s a heavy sleeper). I thought about calling after her to see where she was going, but I didn’t want to talk since it was late and I wanted to fall back asleep (you know that feeling…). I started to lay back down when I looked over and realized that my girlfriend was actually laying right next to me. At this point I start to freak out a little because I clearly saw her get up and go down stairs. Possibilities start running through my head — is it an intruder ( no, I know it was her), did I fall back to sleep (no way, it just happened), am I having some kind of dream/hallucination (it was so real)?

In the midst of me running through a million poor explanations of how I could’ve seen what I just saw, she sits up next to me and says, “I’m going to go downstairs to get a drink.” Let me remind you, in the three years we’ve lived together, she has never once gotten up to get a drink in the middle of the night. I’ve never seen her do it. NOW, I’m freaking out. I tell her to stay in bed, but she immediately asks why. (What do I even say?) I told her that I thought I saw someone walk downstairs and that, see, she really should let me buy a gun to keep in our room. (What? I’m not going to give up an opportunity to convince her…). So now she’s scared, and I’m scared, except I can’t tell her what’s really terrifying me: that I just saw something completely unnatural.

I don’t believe in ghosts. I don’t believe in God, the Easter Bunny, leprechauns, Bigfoot, the holocaust (just kidding — Ahmadinejad joke), souls, the Loch Ness monster, or Magic Jesus. These things don’t exist. So what did I just see? Well, two days later I’m still not sure, and I spent the next two hours bathed in sweat trying to figure it out. The easiest explanation would be that I had some kind of dream or visual hallucination (which I’m not prone to) in which I thought I saw my girlfriend get up out of bed and go downstairs (which she NEVER does). That would be the easiest explanation. Although, what are the odds that the first time in the 1,000 nights we’ve spent together she gets up out of bed for a glass of water, is the same night I hallucinate and see her doing just that, only seconds before. That is a coincidence that is just too hard to believe in. It’s not just that it happened on the same night. It happened just seconds apart.

So here’s what I think happened. I think I saw her intentions. Visually. We understand a mere fraction of how the mind works, and somehow there must be a way to transmit thoughts, that we just haven’t figured out. I don’t know. But I was scared. I’m still a little scared.

What’s your theory? theory@yankeetag.com