http://www.yankeetag.com/blog Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:20:46 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Introducing the Barrstache (Libertystache).  I want one.  I will have one.  I will have one. (I kinda just need to talk myself into it first...) http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/the-barrstache-aka-the-libertystache/ I was browsing Facebook (ok, playing Mob Wars), when I stumbled across the most terrifying photo: a picture of Barack Obama as Jesus. I'm not sure which is more terrifying, the fact that people worship a 2,000-year-old dead Jew, or the fact that Obama is being likened to ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/black-jesus/ I was talking with my lady-friend this afternoon about how if I'm ever mentally impaired, I just want to die. Physician assisted suicide would be great, but if it comes down to it, just burn down my house with me in it. Hell, I'm a retard now, it's ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/awkward-christian-conversations/ About a month ago, when McDonald's debuted their new chicken breakfast sandwich, I caved and bought one. I didn't really want one, and it wasn't any good, but I'm a sucker for their marketing. I mean, the iconic scenes of young twenty-somethings playing basketball, gorging on fast food ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/fun-with-red-box/ Now that Ron Paul has stepped down to focus on his freedom campaign, I'm switching my presidential candidate of choice to Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party. While I'm disappointed (although not really surprised) that Ron Paul didn't capture more of America's support, I am happy to be back ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/bob-barr-for-president/ So, last night, I was sitting around. I was bored (translation: bored = inebriated). And I was doing something dangerous. I was bidding on online auctions. Gun auctions to be specific. I found an AK-47 style gun that had no reserve, and it was only ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/be-careful-what-you-bid-for/ I've not been posting, because I've not been interesting.  And because I've not been not posting on facebook.  And I've been not not playing WoW.  But today I'm not posting on facebook or playing WoW and I'm still not interesting.  I'm at the airport.  And I'm eavesdropping on this guy ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/sitting-at-the-airport/ I was in Seattle over the weekend. What's the occasion, you ask? Well, it was my birthday last week and my friend Morgan and her boyfriend did fly up, but the occasion was: Rover's. See below: GRAND MENU DEGUSTATION -130 WINE PAIRING –75 Amuse-Bouche -5 Kumamoto Oysters with Champagne Sabayon and ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/rovers-seattle/ Some people set goals every New Year's Day.  I usually take stock of where I am and where I want to be each year on June 1st.  On my birthday.  Here's how I fared this year. Make $100,000 (Fail - Maybe next year) Make $1,000,000 (Fail - Not even close) Buy a home ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/happy-birthday/ My Grandpa just moved in with my parents this week.  And my birthday is coming up next weekend.  So I'm going through this dual realization of what it means to age and the stages of life and shit.  It's bullshit.  It's basically just my excuse to drink a lot more ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/old-people-are-weird/ I've been keeping busy in my off hours by consulting with a local Search Engine Optimization specialty firm.  AuraDev, a web design and web marketing company, has been helping local clients in the Portland, Oregon metro area by building and growing their web presences, and ultimately growing their clients' bottom ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/wilsonville-search-engine-optimization/ I'm back at the airport for my third flight of the month. I'm starting to recognize airport personnel and other frequent travelers. This probably indicates that my flights are delayed too often, at least more so than it indicates that I'm observant by nature. Passing through security this morning ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/everything-i-needed-i-learned-at-the-airport/ My brother reminded me that I haven't posted in far too long. It's not that I've had something better to do, I've just been working like crazy. So, I'm sitting at the airport at 5 in the morning and find myself with an abundance of free time (25 ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/things-i-always-think/ Today is "Earth Day," which I've only just now found out. What a ridiculous holiday. The idea is that we celebrate the Earth and worry about all of the terrible things we're doing it it (more on that later). What kind of a holiday is that? ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/earth-day-is-a-farce/ Oh boy, it has been a whirlwind week! On Thursday I left town to do a little camping with my friends. It was my buddy Chris' bachelor party and we decided that it would be fun to spend three days shooting at things in the forest. We ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/explosion-or-bust/ My very favorite artist, Richard St. Ofle is always up for a good prank. On somebody else. And this year he promised to actually fool me (which is notoriously hard to do) on April Fools. And he didn't. So I decided to April Fools him back, albeit seven days ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/soundlessart/ About a month ago I started noticing some new airline check-in questions. They used to ask fairly intuitive questions: Are these your bags? Have you had them with you at all times? Have you been asked to carry packages from unknown individuals? Now they ask new, dumb ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/new-airline-check-in-questions/ I got a new laptop a small, which are thrilled with. I got a new laptop this month, which I'm thrilled with. Everything about it has been great so far. Everything about it has been great so far. I'm running as the business on it, in His ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/computerese/ No, I don't mean with my gun, I mean I wasn't home when one stopped by. Which is disappointing, because I almost didn't get this pamphlet: Answer: No, I've learned quite enough, thank you. The only reason I even got the pamphlet was because the particular Jehovah's Witness missionary who stopped ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/i-missed-a-jehovahs-witness/ I'm currently stranded at the Sacramento Airport and am waiting for Alaska Airlines to "get paperwork from command" before our flight can be boarded. Great. This is exactly how I was hoping to spend my evening. While waiting, I took the opportunity to use the restroom. ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/the-recommended-handwashing-technique/ As mentioned in my previous post about "Shit Nobody Needs," I found a few more can't-live-without products. The Outside Shower Are you sick and tired of having your disgusting house guests use your shower? If you're like me, you are! Relegate them to outside showering, and keep their filth outdoors. ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/shit-nobody-needs-part-2/ In my recent flights, I've (quite guiltily) opened the SkyMall magazine which is conveniently tucked into the seat pocket in front of me. Apparently, we as a society are unable to go for two hours without shopping for things. And as I leafed through the magazine out of ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/shit-nobody-needs-part-1/ http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/wow-is-crack/ Break out your cigars and earplugs, it's a boy! (As previously mentioned in my article about Parenting Advice) A friend and colleague of mine just gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Yep, I called it. So as is typical when learning about her exciting news, my ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/its-a-boy/ Is it just me, or does it seem like the government hasn't fully capitalized on airport safety alert messages which are broadcast over the intercom every 20 seconds at every airport? I mean, they're clearly failing to work the public up into a healthy froth of bigotry and paranoia. This ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/the-current-threat-level-is-magenta/ One of my friends is having a baby. She's going to be a good parent, but as I talk to her about what she wants to do I realize that there's a lot about raising a child that many people don't know. As a tribute to her and ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/parenting-advice/ I've been flying a lot lately for work. A lot. Like six or eight flights a month. All that time on planes has given me quite an opportunity to think about how planes shouldn't work. I'm not stupid, I know they do, I just don't think ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/planes-shouldnt-work/ Weekend America is so much better than weekday America. They had this great segment on this week, which was pointed out to me by one of the broads behind Grammarholic.com. She's been busy trying to push out a baby but still makes time to listen to liberally biased ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/oh-weekend-america-how-i-love-thee/ I got the rudest call today. A man called up and asked for "Theresa McLellan". Theresa used to own my phone number. I'm not Theresa. I've never met Theresa. I wish Theresa paid her bills on time. I get a lot of calls ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/debt-collecter-overachiever/ In what I hope is the final installment of the Mexicana series, Jaime finally comes through. I think you'll enjoy the following letter that accompanied my check (make especially sure you read the third paragraph): Dear Mr. YankeeTag: This will acknowledge receipt of your letter wherein you informed us about ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/mexicana-lost-luggage-refund/ ...is back. Our kickoff brew is a Black Butte Porter clone. We started the brew yesterday, and this morning fermentation is in full swing. It's fermenting in my coat closet. Here, have a look: As you can see, "Top Hat" is a pretty classy brewery. We ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/top-hat-brewery/ I don't believe in god, but if I did, I would thank her for making me Irish. Go sign the petition at http://proposition317.com/ to make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday! http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/prop-3-17/ Bunny Hunt '08 was a huge success. Sure, we only came back with one half of a bunny, but we shot dozens. You see, in light of my dedicated interest in sustainable hunting, we implemented a new program which I call "Shoot and Release." The premise is ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/shoot-and-release/ My buddy, the infamous Sacramento Artist St. Ofle, has recently designed a shirt print that we felt was perfect in consideration of my upcoming Bunny Hunt. The genius of the design is the "two-sided" approach: one side of the shirt (the front) will show a bunny print and the ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/bunny-soup/ This weekend, for the first time in my life, I'm going hunting. Bunny hunting, to be specific. My fellow hunters and I figure that we're men, and must do what men do best: hunt bunnies. (Still unsure what a bunny is?) So we're going this weekend, ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/bunny-hunt-08/ I went to a gun show last weekend. I was really excited, I had been looking forward to it for awhile. I got there and looked around for an hour or so before I overheard one of the vendors ask a customer if her address was correct on ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/cold-dead-fingers/ I think economics is interesting, which is why most people don't like me. Ok, that's not why they don't like me, but I imagine it doesn't help. Nevertheless, I've been appalled in recent weeks over the announcement of various politicians promoting "economic stimulus packages" (Like this, this, or ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/brief-economics-lesson/ So yesterday my mom calls me up and asks, "What did you order from al-[insert generic Islamic organization name]?" I replied, "Hi mom, it's nice to talk to you, too. What are you talking about?" And her: "You just had a package delivered from al-[insert generic Islamic organization name]. ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/somebody-thinks-theyre-funny/ This segment went unaired on Larry King. Unfortunately the candidate with the most important message isn't getting the press coverage he deserves. I aim to remedy this by broadcasting the segment on my site instead. I'll give Larry King a run for his money. Here are some interesting ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/ron-paul-on-larry-king-almost/ I need to preface this post with a couple of quick notes. First, I swear on my atheism, it's entirely true. Secondly, I'm not the kind of person who would ever believe it, if I hadn't seen it myself. That said, two nights ago the creepiest thing ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/really-really-creepy/ I have (finally) sent out my documents to Mexicana now that I'm settled into my new home. It cost $35.54 to ship the documents to them via FedEx as requested. (Feel free to track its progress with me: # 863677598897) And now for a little fun: the ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/betsicana-continued/ I haven't posted in eight days. What have I been up to, you ask? I've been making demotivational posters. It's really quite fun. At least one of these should offend you. Denial Best Friends Spoiler Life Goes On http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/8-days-later/ After I made my Google Gadget (see Google Gadget Post), Google sent me a patch (or badge, or emblem, or as I like to call it: a mark of honor). It looked like this: I'm so grateful for my free patch that I can't decide whether to affix it to ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/trusted-tester/ Comcast, the only true high-speed internet option in my area, is not an option for me. There are two reasons for this: Comcast gave my name and information to some copyright protection group working for the TV networks, because I downloaded one episode of the Office, and one episode of ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/nightmare-scenario/ I've been moving the past week or so, but I'm still alive. Barely. When I say moving, really I mean that I've moved out, but can not yet move into my new place and have been hovering in the limbo between homes. I think I'm supposed to ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/im-still-alive/ Well, it's not $800, but I talked those Mexicana jerks into sending me an extra $140 over their previous offer. The thing is, I still feel like they're trying to rip me off. The worst part is, it would only take them $160 to make this right, ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/27/ I'm moving. I have these fantastic 90-year-old, Japanese landlords who are multi-millionaires and who refuse to ever buy anything new. Not anything, ever. And I know, I know, that they are going to keep my $1000 deposit unless I clean everything in my apartment so well that it looks ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/moving-venn-diagram/ Very funny video from YouTube. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/atheist-missionary/ I mentioned earlier the new Spamoscope project I'm working on with St.Ofle. The project entails publishing a gibberish spam message every day on our Spamoscope.com site. To offset the cost, we included a Google AdSense bar on the side of the page. AdSense works by "reading" the ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/spamusement/ I received the following: Hello,My names is Debra and I am working for Mexicana Airlines. I am have writing to you for so you can talks to me more about your lost luggage. The problems is that always Mexicana offer you less than you worth so that you can accept. You are a poker ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/almost-punkd/ I find that I'm quickly getting high in the rankings for the term "mexicana lost luggage" on Google thanks to my post about how they lost my luggage and are taking forever and a day to compensate me. (To catch up new readers: It all started when...) The update is ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/mexicana-lost-luggage/ I'm working on a new project with St.Ofle called Spamoscope. The idea stems from a blog by St.Ofle describing his use of those garbled, gibberish spam messages we all get. You know the ones that don't even seem to be selling anything? The idea is that they ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/brand-new-project/ So it seems like it's taking forever for 24 to resume. Come November/December I'm usually chomping at the bit, but even more so this year, since last season basically sucked. I spent this morning searching google for Jack Bauer pictures (which I find myself doing more often than ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/20/ I just found out I'm ranked number 1 on Yahoo! for the phrase: "sexy cop lingo" now, too. Check it out: me on Yahoo! I've really begun to question the practicality of search engine placement logic. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/sexy-cop-lingo-part-deux/ I just heard back from my pal Jaime at Mexicana. Only four days late! He says... Mr Nathan Kagey: Tomorrow across the day you will be receiving my answer. Best regards, Jaime Suárez López Atención a Clientes Cía. Mexicana de Aviación, S.A. de C.V. Call me a sucker, but ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/tomorrow-across-the-day/ My company moved into a new office. It's rad. The cubicles are smaller, we're farther from the nearest coffee shop, bar, and corner store, there aren't any drawers in our new desks, the rent is higher, we don't get CNN anymore, and parking is more limited. The ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/new-office/ Only one person took me up on my Mexicana Betsicana: Richard St. Ofle. Unfortunately, he lost. And he owes me coffee. I think this is the first bet I wish I had lost. Note: Richard made good on his bet. Have you seen his new art show? Beards ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/betsicana-part-ii/ Late breaking update from Jaime at Mexicana: Dear NATHAN KAGEY: Tomorrow I will send you my answer about your claim. Thank you so much for your comprehension and help. Best regards, Jaime Suárez López Atención a Clientes Cía. Mexicana de Aviación, S.A. de C.V. Well, it looks like they could be resolving this in as little as 24 ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/betsicana/ I made a Widget (of the Yahoo! variety) and a Gadget (the Google kind). If you have Google Desktop and/or Yahoo Widgets, or want to download them, you should try them out. Yahoo Widget Google Gadget Comments? googlegadget@yankeetag.com or yahoowidget@yankeetag.com http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/widgets-inc/ I plan to vote for Ron Paul when I vote for president in the 2008 elections. Why? Because, like Ron Paul, I believe in personal freedom, personal responsibility, privacy rights, property rights, and a small government with little or no taxes. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/ron-paul-2008/ Fun trivia fact: As of 10:39 am PST on November 1, 2007, Yankeetag.com is ranked #1 on Google for the phrase "sexy cop lingo". Proof that the web is truly democratic. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/sexy-cop-lingo/ I found a really cool program called Kiva (kiva.org) that arranges microloans for entrepreneurs in developing countries. You can find somebody you want to help finance and you can contribute to their loan amount. When they repay the loan, you get your money back. So, I decided ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/fun-with-microloans/ So, if you're not previously familiar with my Mexicana horror story, let me catch you up: they lost my bags on October 2, 2007 and after telling me they found them five separate times, have yet to actually give them to me (now they've "unfound" them again). This is ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/mexicana-is-retarded/ Richard (from St. Ofle) is helping me make "Homophobia is Gay" shirts. They'll be available for $18. Let me know if you want one. One day they might even be available from the Homophobia is Gay site. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/homophobia-is-gay/ I may have sourced some cop footage. Stay tuned for updates... Now I need to track down some "radio squawk" sound effects. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/the-one-good-cop/ So I've had this idea for a movie but have hit a brick wall in development. The plan is to make a short "cop movie" where a bunch of cops talk to each other on their radios. The thought is that all of these cops use their "cop ... http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/wheres-a-good-cop-when-you-need-one/ I'm trying to come up with funny shirt ideas for a new website. If you have any, send them to me at: shirts@yankeetag.com If I like it, I'll make it for you. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/t-shirt-fetish/ I saw this quote I liked on iGoogle this morning: "A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body." http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/coverup/ I've been listening to this interesting podcast for awhile that is put out by the FFRF. Freethought Radio It's pretty interesting (and refreshing) to hear intelligent people skeptically discuss religion and politics. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/beware-of-dogma/ I caved. I now have a blog and a website. I'll try to update it as infrequently as possible. http://www.yankeetag.com/blog/archives/hello-world/